Presence is just more than being there

2012-03-07T23:54:00.001+08:00

This officially blog was dead for a month.

I dont have time for myself to blog. Hahaha bby keep asking..

On the contrast, so many things happened, but take it as a step. It's not easy handling work/training/family matters. Just go through it!

Feel the air! Feel the breeze!

FightFightFight!

I'm planning for the future but not putting hope on it. When the time is ready, hopefully nothing goes wrong! After all 4 months have pass, good to have someone encourage one another! I appreciates what you have done for me, it's not easy for you to Juggle studies and listen to my whining/blabbering/sleep nonsense talking voice! Seriously, I miss you soooo much. Hopefully I can spend more quality time with you. A few hours aint enough let alone one day. :D it's a matter of sacrificing for a better future. Insyallah! My schedule are pack enough, just hope you spend your youth wisely. In the near future working environment will be different and I myself cant be with you to spend your youthful years. It's yours baby, enjoy it at the moment as much as possible! Loving you has deepen me inside and you will be my priority. The days that I'm entitled to spend my life with you will be the day I'll wait for it. For all that cranky, funny, silly gestures that you've been staring at during cycling/arcade-ing/ikea-ing/movie-ing/makan-ing. It's goona stay part of you too. Thank You For the wonderful months!

LOVE YOU NUR SYAHIRAH !

2012-02-12T05:03:00.000+08:00

I don't like to brag but sometimes I often brag the same repeated question. Why?

My dear always asked me to drown that thoughts. It's hard at times, I just swallow it for the sake of us. I tried to keep it inside me as such that I can hold onto it as a scar. Day by day I'm losing motivation of not continuing of a normal life. Just need that spark, really just that spark.. someone? anyone??? God?

hear me... listen...

You've done miracles, sacrifice everything that simply you can do with your will. Thank you so much for everything! for the greatest gift that I get is

you.....

my most precious gift that I will learn to live and love each day.

<3

love you dear (:

2012-02-08T12:21:00.001+08:00

LOVE is in the air.

TREASURE so much with <3!

As always, retarded. Never expect high hopes but go on with the flow!

2012-01-22T06:45:00.002+08:00

I'm trying as much as possible in taking care of my health. One of my main priorities for now. Dealing with rotating shifts, gonna affect as much as possible. Especially when it comes to irrelevant hours of sleep.Drink tons of plain water, absorb as much vitamins as I can. I don't want ended up having demoralized figure like last JAN 2011 till AUG 2011. I looked more tired, weak couldn't barely face the world, couldn't even face my friends/students yet alone my own time. They have seen me in that state and I was hoping/praying I have a good job opportunity. Alhamdulillah.. God answers my prayer. Week in week out, my horrendous activities was just ..................

I kept thinking when this activities will end?

Finally I managed to face that toughest period. (:

Dear Mum,

I hope you don't remind me again about what I've been through for the past 16 years. I've been through alot but I never complained at home to you/anyone about what I've faced during my 16 years. But you could sense my agony without looking/observing. Thank You for being understanding Mother. Don't worry about what I've been through,

I've done it，

I've persevered through,

I've walked through that rough patches,

I will never back down because I dare to fight that emotion

The family broke into pieces but we ended up being independent. Look what we have built from scratches. Thanks to your prayers. Deeply appreciated what you have sacrificed! loves... (':

2012-01-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry... no amount of time can replace things on what I've done.

It's something as a coach feel what he/she wanna do, change the philosophy, teach the correct practice, able to strive with excellence.....

it may take years, but there's no patient and

it fails....

accept it. no point staying without the strong support of everyone.
Leave on a high note.

partly I can get the blame, but as a colleague aren't we suppose to help each other?
why blame of all stuffs? me?

2012-01-15T02:47:00.001+08:00

Though today im deprieve of sleep but I managed to catch up with dear going geylang buying some stuffs for her cookie project while zooming back to the old place. where i courted her! I mean it's not a brave one but it's just that both of us lack that edge to speak, because both of us knew what's inside of us about the feelings that we kept secretly. As time goes by the feeling grows, we are able to express slowly. shared/poured out so many many stuffs eventually!

We headed down to bugis to buy a couple t shirt which was actually from a shop named Mystery Glamour. I followed my heart because suddenly this shop just looked convincing to me. My dear got the same thinking about the shirt that we looked upon on the first mannequin display. I bought it with an open heart because when I stared to that display it just got me appealing while the rest are just too wordy or dull colours. It just scared me out of my mind by looking at the rest!　haha! finally bought it, ira just "heheheheh" from that smile.

I understand that both of us dislike someone buying something for us. As if we are like being dependent on others. I just hope she take it as a momento from me. Not always I bought something to surprise or anything as what other guys would preferably. Hopefully the shirt that I bought will be our witness in time to come during our relationship moments. take it as a beginning to our many more months to come. insyallah.

I'm looking forward to see Ira again.

Like I said, it's the process of how we manage/over-calm our lives.

balance out between school/work/relationship/family

same thing when it happens during marriage, balance out work/family/parents

the only difference is get to see each other every day when you are married. HAHAHAH!

as much as i love it, time and time again, I'll always treasure the moments again once with you. even though i know that time doesn't accept us at the right moment but I believe that one day it'll make us closer.

hearts to you!

2012-01-12T21:03:00.000+08:00

it's been a fruitful January. A kickstart to 2012...

several stuffs happened and I'm bless with these kind of life.

I had a good time with my dear yesterday.

It's back to the first day we met, the day we talk alot, get to know so many stuffs which are common in us. Truth is, to find someone who has the same similarities are rare to find. Sooooooo this is it! And I purely freaking happy, smiling guy while blogging here. ((: At the same time as we walk through the place, it brounght back the memories, as if we were walking down the isle during the important day of our lives. You know.. marriage.. =D

One thing that helped me is the amount of time how I spent wisely with work, family and relationship life. Further add ons, will be band, driving and IPT. But seriously this time round I'm able to balance out equally, previously I'm suck at it, because I'm doing 2 odd job at the same time. Therefore the mindset is already, slack one job, do serious in another job, family don't bother, grind out that money first, help and settle the family income. That mentality is not a good recommendations. That's what Uncle Dennis told me! Finally I realized that after a long talk with him. I thought I was the only one feel that way.. but fuhhhh finally someone enlighten me!

prior to that we went seoul garden at marina square. I thought the supervisor only can't talk. but I realized the whole staffs communicate through hand signal. It was so inspiring, I kept talking to my dear. Kept irritating her with the food etc etc..But I had a fun day throughout, good memories to where we first met! awww..
I'm cherishing the moments everytime when I'm with you....
I'll will look back and say, hey! this is part of us, let's not regret this, time is really precious, spend it with an open heart! It will be meaningful!

LOVE YOU DEAR !
for everything you have done for me! the love/care/concern!
I hope I can look forward to the next phase of our lives! insyallah :D

2012-01-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

No goals, LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

Must start training for IPPT before 27 JUNE (Silver target)
Try to pass DRIVING if I'm not lazy and forgetful
Waiting for call up for Reservist

and........................

Save money for the future!!!!!!!!

Sian le, everywhere I go, people kept asking bila nak ikat(when are you getting married)?????

5 years can???

settle early also won't guarantee a good future.

2011-12-31T01:41:00.002+08:00

I was particularly sentimental upon losing my wallet yesterday, this year I lost so many stuffs. But every thing which was part of me are sentimental value. The wallet has been my lunch sacrificing days in ITE, just to buy the wallet. I scrimp and save. Today when I open my letterbox there's only my IC but the wallet, the money for my bills and nafkah for my mum are gone )': This year really I'm very irresponsible. Hopefully Tomorrow which is a new year, things won't happen all over again.

2011 has been the most struggling year I've ever face since the exit of ARMY LIFE from September 2010. Hopefully the new year will start with full of hopes. I'm lacking more and more behind especially in the city/town industry, due to work. Therefore the first week of January I'm going somewhere with baby. YES BBY you heard that????

I really must thank dear for being patiently enough to withstand my irritating attitude/debating. Seriously its the process we gonna take step by step, deeply I'm gonna hold and guide you towards the end of the light. amin! Talking about that we were watching Ombak Rindu, thus the feeling that I wanna comment was actually the same. The fact that our minds are like, easier for us to understand. But sometimes not everybody is perfect. So we just gonna take one step at a time (;

Love you sooo much dear!

I really don't have new year resolution. Even if i have it will falter. Seriously!
Just go on with the flow!
Happy new year!

2011-12-28T01:28:00.000+08:00

Have FAITH & BELIEVE

why is it if putting a negative remarks and it answered "I'm just random". so the motive of it, is to attract attention isn't it? Next time if people won't bother to answer how? Don't blame others, blame for what you have been creating in the beginning! It doesn't make sense at all. Seriously =.="

come on, for so many times I inspired people, but YOU kept thinking the NEGATIVE side. It's even worse when nothing happen and all the negative comments came out. I shall take up psychiatrist job as a part time! Hummmmmm!

everybody look to your left (*turn to left)
everybody look to your right (*turn to right)

2011-12-23T00:56:00.001+08:00

impianku hancur bagaikan putih beliung,

tetapi pengalamanku membawa ku kemana arah ditujui.

aku tidak berasa kesal atas apa yang aku tinggalkan,

sebaliknya aku bersyukur apa yang ku diterima.

hanya engkau la yang tahu perasaan ku,

hingga kini tiada apapun yang akan membuatku berhenti.

jikalau saat yang ku menunggu telah tiba,

hanya kebahagianmu yang ku restui hingga ke ahkhir hayat.

2011-12-14T03:36:00.003+08:00

Never expect something in return. There will be surprises...

I'm not perfectionist, or a very holy person. I'm just simple, I know my limitations... When a new day is born, be happy that we got a chance to live.

I felt so bless, felt so calm as if I'm born again. Surprises after surprises, alhamdulillah. When the chips are down, there's always something pop out. And finally I got to believe that it really happened!

I remembered that I prayed together with mum, and i was wishing for my brother to have a second chance/better life. It happened the next day when my brother came with the news. It shocked me, and mum was saying "your prayers were answered". I'm not expecting a return but life has been so bless since I've change. It gives me time to think and ponder life isn't bad afterall! :) I always looked down in life, when fate intertwine it changes me, right from the beginning. I'm just hoping whatever happens, I will not give up a fight.

Time and time again, I love you so much!
What matters is the time we spend. (:

2011-12-02T00:04:00.001+08:00

We are afraid not because of what we feel but the outcome of what's gonna happen that makes us afraid. Somethings are uncontrollable, well let's just say fate? death? we couldn't look at every angle with possibilities. Listen to a heart, listen to their needs, their heart felt, learn to listen. Cherish the people around you, we can't predict whether it's you or me might leave. (: Don't Fuck life.. Life can't be fuck after all.

Make full use of your life
give a seat to an elderly person
greet your colleagues with a smile
surprise people with a laughter
make a surprise call/sms to your love ones
fold your blankets once you wake up from your sleep

make everyone feel that you are independent. Make life as simple as it is.. (:

I sincerely thankful for the way since you entered into my life, appreciates all the things you have done for me. Thank You loves (: wish we can do star gazing one day. I love every moments with you! :D
<3

2011-11-25T02:51:00.001+08:00

Well, working as a front desk agent in a hostel.
Even though the programme they used are "old". I managed it, the only problem I'm facing is language barrier and online booking. Different company caters different payment.
Some paid 10%, so i was quite confused about that. It's like, why there's isn't a need to update a 10% payment on the receipt???
They paid 90% yes but with discount or no?
What if customers confused?
Totally... Still brooding over it. Just take time to understand.

Need to spend quality time with you. But now in a midst of adjusting to another career. It's gonna hold up for awhile though. Thank you for the care/love and understanding, with love RAHMAN. <3

Ini ape orang cakap, "kalau nak maintain mesti kena survive jugak cari rezeki. Nanti nak nikah tak ada duit amacam???" HAHAHA!

2011-11-20T15:25:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow starting a full time job.
Insyallah..

I'm just curious what's gonna happen next.
With full time job at the same time handling relationship,
what would be the outcome????

Insyallah everything goes well.
Just go with the flow!

2011-11-11T01:06:00.001+08:00

Some things are rather by thinking. Stop wasting your time, If I die, you still have to move on what. I'm not god nor your mum who spoon feed you 24/7. Brains where are you now?

2011-11-01T10:38:00.002+08:00

I had a good run this morning 10 mins for 2.4km, doing 13 pull ups , 60 sit ups and my negative attraction which is Standing Broad Jump. )': Still remember doing SBJ during NS days were easy. I can jump reaching 250cm and upon the morning frantic jump i reached 201cm sia... after jumping 5 sets for five minutes i manage 210cm only. ):

Can't push myself already, Tummy will overgrown eventually. Welcome to the OLD CLUB. Hahaha! Good to have buddies pushing one another. But I realised we can't depend on someone else if we ourselves never put an effore to achieve. I remember I inspired few people during my NS days. Even my juniors too, but it seems that my inspiration were lost somewhere. Somehow I'm trying to find it back, keep nagging, keep pushing, irritating, annoying another one self. This is what I am, when it comes to work/school matters. I'm totally serious.

My butt can't stop itching of going back to work. Should I go back Shangri-La back? I miss the people there, everyone jaga me properly. The love affection of a parent i miss that. Even Ah Ma the chef, the bakery chefs also took care of me. It's the hypocrite which I dislike, and I can't concentrate working when all the flying bullets aiming at me. These fatherly/motherly people stood out to me, when I'm at the losing end. I did visit them 3 weeks ago, it brought the smile out of them upon seeing me. Hope to see you all again. ( ':

TMIS - praying for the class to be formed. come on, can't wait to do role play, communicate with older people, im belong there. :D
It's November already. Thinking about sales assistant also not bad, but something that I'm used to would be advantage. How can I cope working in a Sentosa as a cashier/satayman/grilling chicken/fish/assistant cook? I did that but $5/hour not enough.

The FACT is I can do tons of stuffs from cleaning to cooking to packing to sales to teaching. Even if I got no experience, I learnt something which is a valuable asset to me. But I can't decide which is the REAL ME. Hahahahahhas. Afterall, no pain no gain, I'm Independant without complaining!

2011-10-28T13:33:00.000+08:00

A new phase of life, and I'm enjoying it to the max with you.

The mutual understanding makes me even stronger and better perhaps this is what I lack of from my previous experiences. Someone who knows me the inner side with greater reading of my mind.. Let's take it slow, build that rapport eventually blossom. It makes us listen to each other without having the trouble to rant/egoistic feeling/conclusion feeling. We can connect through various means which is easier. God gave me eyes to see/observe, so I'm not gonna let go of it. It's the last I'll hold on by any means.

Hahaha. Am I bad by any means????

2011-10-22T20:17:00.003+08:00

I know there would be no one reading this post.

But,

I couldn't pen my thoughts somewhere.
so yea..

I'm a person with full of hopes. And I will determine my future with my bare hands.

The heaviest heart is to let go in teaching alternatively I'll use it as a hobby. As I always said, it's not too late when you are in the midst of adapting to another career. I don't want ended up in regrets.

I believe in myself and I'll guide my love ones to where it should. It's everybody responsibility to guide somoeone when they are lost, show them the care and the love that they are not alone.
Show me the way, the light towards life. And I'll find it with hope. (:

2011-03-10T01:20:00.003+08:00

Oppsie. Central Judging is just round the corner. I'm not gonna push much, because I've done my job not entirely 100% around 90%. Trying to piss them off by not to be complacent that's all. Hahahaha. At least, if your mind started to put in more onto learning, nothing shall stop you from slacking.

I'm finding ways for people to understand rather than just play for FUN. I'm more worried that the next batch are rather not looking forward to learn a skill or just a chillout mindset. I'm trying to understand their lingo/character but the more i learn about it, its getting irritating. The more I pressed on them, the more they hate. The more I chilled with them, the more they just don't bother. Waiting for answers is not gonna give a solution to everything. I'm trying my best to let them think more.

I'm a doctor I'm here to tell these people their root of their problem. But they have to take initiative to ask me what sickness these people are having.

I just want these people to think that, having a skill, you ought to know your standard.
Am I presenting correctly?
What's my main weakness I need to work on?
Can I deliver without stopping?

What other stuffs I need to work on?

Therefore doesn't mean that solid 3 hours is just for you to brush up your skills.
Even at home you can do it. Take 30 mins to an hour.
How long are you gonna improve if you just stick to the curriculum?

2011-02-21T12:41:00.002+08:00

darker days ahead. think straight, don't let negativity sinks you.

Gotta be strong, be decisive. I'm changing more and more differently.

Is this how you people repay my faith???
I felt like being stab at the back. It's alright. Time to get strong!

I had fun sheesha-ing with Firli, syahidah and nysa. nevertheless, share some common stuffs aite. gonna teach fundamentals of a concert band. I wish everything goes well yea.

2011-02-13T13:41:00.002+08:00

Month of February. Some issues i need to update.

Meanwhile I've stopped working part time for now. I realised I worked too much and lost more weight than i thought after I weigh myself on the weighing machine. I lost the time with old friends/colleagues and one thing that's suck to the core. I lost my musicality... I used to be passionate about music so much that I practice 2 to 3 hours a day till perfection, listen to band songs and explore more music stuffs. I lost that momentum few months ago because of family reasons. Therefore my difficulty of coping is rather uncontrollable. I slept 4 hours or lesser even up to the extend of never sleep at all. After months of thinking after colleagues noticed me, i've decided to stop with immediate effect. Seriously for my health and my future, I need to be stable. I'm Focusing on GY only.

Since joining full time there, I realised the amount of learning depends on the individuals itself. So much issues link to one thats learning a skill. Attitude, commitment, hardwork, understanding. Hence I was not prepared for all this, but doing this alone makes me learn something. Independent. Therefore I was quite impressed with a few students who might make a great impact in the future or in JCs, Poly or ITE. If they continue in music. If only everyone listens to advices, follow, be mature and think properly, i don't see a reason why they can't go far?

How about me? I'm trying to develop myself to be a good musician. As well learning preparing to take ABRSM for my future use of music. Pray for the best. Thats all. Take care and loves .

A New Year

2011-01-08T09:58:00.002+08:00

I hope it doesn't add rust to the blog. Hahaha. Welcome myself back to blogging, and I'm sorry to those who've been keeping clicking on to this link. I'll make myself free to update my journey towards a better succesful life. Just wanna update afew things here. 3 months passed feeling over exhausted, tired, pale looking guy for now. But I hope whatever I sacrificed for, is for the family. And I bet every single dollar, I'll try my best to support myself up rather than looked down by my own peers/relatives. I'm just trying to prove a point here, never give up while you still chasing your dreams. It might just crush half way through all I got to do is to keep believing. I'll make my stand as of today,

I'll devote myself to one which is my faith of believing in students capabilities.

And it starts now......

2010-09-30T14:44:00.002+08:00

What more can i sacrifice???

I did everything. To be able to live with this reality. What more can I do?

Had enough of this.

Friend, if you keep hiding, no point also. I'll see you each week in band.

Raya with ITE band members was more a close connection. We seldom met and yea it was just a good day. Hopefully can see them next year. With love and care....

I got things to achieve and everytime I'm about to start there's always minor things that pop out from nowhere. Just a pure bad luck that it happens most of the time. I wish people out there show some concerned, because the more I give care towards people, I'm the one getting the backstabber or hurt at the final hurdle. It's just doesn't link or it doesn't give a logic. When I turned mean, people don't realised that I'm being too nice for the result of your attitude. That's why I turned overnight to let you be aware that kindness don't take for granted. What if I'm being so mean to the people around me most of the time?

Does that mean I'm subject to be hated by others?

Or is it your mindset to be that way?

Possibly??

Don't love a person just because he/she helped you. It's really2 wrong.

2010-09-15T07:34:00.002+08:00

First day with GYSS, it brought me memories. 2 years passed, everybody is changing, new generation of players joined in. And when I looked at all the faces, i was thinking, I must revert back to basics or not??? But really we did enjoyed on our first day. I guess it was a good time, since I've been out in the SUN for 2 years. hahahaha. After the practice I was feverish maybe due to the Air Con. Like I said, I've been in the SUN for so long and adapting in just 3 hours, its not helping me either. (: I went back around 8pm? just to catch time with them at the playground. Had a long chat, on about what i missed during my 2 years. Terribly missed them seriously. (:

2010-08-31T23:24:00.002+08:00

Being alone is horrible.

I have to constantly remind myself to get out from my imaginations. Because after months and months of focusing myself on work, I confessed I really can't moved on naturally. Maybe it take years or so, deeply hurt especially the loneliness that was given by friends. I'm not complaining, but after years of friends till now I still couldn't understand the F.R.I.E.N.D.S alphabets. To me I'm blinded by that, foreseen from the upcoming reality. What I need is not a constant reminder but a collective of perspective from a friend? Something that will spend time talking crap, shit ass thingy or cheer/smiley events. Easier to say, useful to everybody/the surroundings that makes everyone like "Aww, we all had fun". Once in a 3/6 month sudden sms also is crazy. Technology is simple, but replying an sms is a heavy burden. And now most of the time I off my mobile phones. Because of this incident.

I know I can't be like a nag old grandpa asking for outing or like are you free? I knew most will have their own activities. Sometimes if things were made impossible, I'll just stunned there, cooped up at home doing nothing. I live with it at times, sometimes it's hard to accept the current reality. Only have faith in myself more..

2010-08-24T20:27:00.002+08:00

Ok im so free. Just because, I'm clearing my LEAVEs and OFFs. Last day of fasting will be happy, a free day of changing into a civilian life. Who knows I might shout outside the gate with the other 4 friends of mine???? Or maybe stamp my I.C. on my forehead. Hahahaha. Hopefully during the journey towards the last day, nothing happens. Pray to god... Amin. The next day is HARI RAYA, tell me who is not so happy????? Then I won't have to answer the same questions to my relatives about "Are you still in the ....?" haaah. I mean every year when someone approach me, I knew what's the first question they wanna ask.

Then the next impromptu question, "what you wanna do/work as???"
My next movement will be, Act Blur Live Longer. Haha. I've decided on what to do, so I'll be working closely with the young, wiser kids. It's not gonna be easy but I'm gonna rally all of them to learn closely with me. I've got ambitions on what I want to do. So alot of work need to be done especially starting with ITE Percussionists. Hopefully Mr Eric won't reject my proposal. I need to build my reputation through this. If GYSS Percussionists were able to collaborate together, I'll be happy too. Provided the unit provide good reading, technically skills by JUNE 2011. I'll have to juggle my personal/work life together and teaching does require alot of understanding of human nature. On when to act when someone makes an impromptu attitude/emotions changes. It's not easy, I did it before but sometimes it failed me. After a stern discipline 2 years of my service I hope I'm really ready mentally and physically. I never gave up on each and everyone of you before, but what I need is commitment/love/trust from each of you. Let's hope our mission will be a success in the near future.

2010-08-15T23:00:00.001+08:00

How can you assure Forever is really Forever?

Believe it or not, have more faith in yourselves.

2010-08-03T22:04:00.009+08:00

Alumni's Swensen Galore

JUYING BAND CONCERT

ALUMNI's

CIVIL PEOPLE TRANSFORMS

...................................

.............................

......................

............

BLACK AGENTS

Left 35 more days!

I'm giving it all out, everything I can. I'm really sorry for the past few events I didn't update my blog. Due to some problems at work, got myself into trouble. Till now pending and my mind just went berserk saying "Argh, don't give a fuck, just keep on going". I put few photos as a remembrance here. I was "Alejandro!" while working or to whoever I met in person, Talha responded with an Alejandro echo which last few seconds. Both of us went really out of our subconcious mind.. The song hook up upside down at my workplace. :P

Monday 020810

Yesterday cohesion with all the working colleagues at Marina Barrage, Kite flying session and BBQ at West Coast. Got intimidated at times, heat cause me to be crazy at times or dejected. I did enjoyed myself tanning there while some sexy chicks were there for attraction/attention seeker. Hahaha. Kite flying ended at 3.30pm eventually news spread out by 6.00pm must report to the west coast. In between went to West Coast Bowling with my section. My score improved from the last bowling I played from 50+ to 110. It was fun, bonding gays but sadly the last cohesion I'll be participating because in 35 days, I'm FREE!

Sunday 010810
Alumni swensen's meet up sponsored by Mr Goh. By right I should have 15 attending this makan seminar but by left only 10 turned up. At least 75% is better than 25% hor. We are really so close after a long 12345 years never meet up since our departure in Juying Secondary as a graduating students. We reconciled back full strength on 250710 with the main band, concert in woodlands RP's TRCC. I'm really happy to see all the alumni's back to watch us too. It happened when Aqilah and Silah called my name and approach towards me during interval, my reaction towards them was, "Gosh, all of you have grown up so fast". That's what I did told them, time itself flies quite really really in a blink of an eye seriously. Skip that, after the makan at swensen, we went Marina Barrage. Relaxation.... Photo candid, impromptu presentation from me about marina barrage. The reason was Qairul and MuhSin first visit to Marina Barrage . Lol. See, who ask you not to travel in SG. Anyway I realised I went Marina Barrage 2 days straight.

My target for now is to capture my private manual driving license. Hope to clear BTT faster and Practical with efficiency and not half-fuck. (: Next will be my future, teaching, learning, improving. I need to recover most of my fundamentals, I'm really lagging behind in these 2 years. But I promised myself this is what I want, I have to earn it with passion. So girls, boys, ladies and gentlemen if you really want something that you love most/used to it, earn it,build a good reputation then it'll flow naturally. Success comes from hardwork people!

handsome and pretty anot?
Haha

2010-07-19T21:35:00.002+08:00

I'm really learning at the same time currently and my worse day has come. It happened just yesterday. I'm on the black list. I need everyone support, enlighten me as much as possible, positive thinking. And i want to let you know, how much i miss all of you. Once I'm free out of the black clouds, I'll surely hug all of you.

Jasen thank you for the help in one way or another. I guess I'll work my reputation first, build a strong, bonding percussionist. From there we'll improve. Thank you.

2010-06-29T21:48:00.004+08:00

As time grows, our life evolves, our direction changes, our capabilities stretches to the limit. But it's the attitude that you show towards your life. Be it easy, be it tough, there's people around us willing to listen. But it's up to us to face it willingly.

In reality, we are the one fears of the outcome rather than facing the outcome.

A card from a friend of mine,

RAHMAN,

Happy 21st dude! Just wanna thank you for sustaining the current alumni and is
ever so encouraging whenever I hit any setbacks. Continue this and be the
alumni's next CONDUCTOR YEAH!!! =)

Loves Yin Whee
P.S. - Keep walking coz there will always be ppl at the back who will follow. =)

Surprisingly I must thanked here for that personal note especially the last note. It does really sprung my mind and motivation ahead. Thank you friend.

2010-06-27T14:53:00.002+08:00

marks the nearing end of June. I realised I don't think much about 27Th June till an innocent soul bumped me with a Birthday Card. Just stunned there, looked at the watch, saw the date... How frantic I was upon that moment. Yea, guess each year I'm not looking forward to 27 June. Can say I'm old OK? hahaha.

Wanna say to Iman, Gaddafi and Zahid all the best in your Driving Course starting tomorrow. Though I won't see you all after you all come back in Mid-September because that's the day I'm a civilian as much as I want to. Hahaha! Good luck people! Yusran you too, you are more junior than me but still you are going Wallaby for your overseas training, so you'll be back next January. I won't be seeing you much. Take care all of you.

Turning 21 is completely gonna be different from all the years back. 18 is a special day, but 21 will be even heavier responsibilities. And everything will retaliate back to our own mindset where should we start with. I don't want to start hanging for 3 years studying while my mum is supporting me. It's isn't my cup of tea. Let's hope, pray I'll get a job as soon as possible. Just to secure my future that's all. I don't want hang myself at home without an income. It's hard to survive in SG seriously.

Alumni's are coming back to help main band, just hope after the 25Th July concert the tradition still follows on Saturday. Who knows we might open up an end of year concert. We need everyone support. Saturday is crucial, yes, definitely everyone got their own programs in the afternoon. But please try your best to attend alumnis.

2010-06-16T21:27:00.002+08:00

From my point of view, everything is changing. I don't see that optimism from the young musicians. All I saw was, "as long got sound good already" attitude. Felt so awkward, when I see the section 1 or 2 people attended. I just don't have the urge to teach/even talk, felt disappointed. I mean who wouldn't, the basic respect, the basic music, the basic bands of building up, there isn't any. Like a premonition of disaster. Who would have thought to lead you need to instill discipline, serious at the right time but neither that I'm seeing. I just miss the last batch of us. Qiu Xuan & Syafiq delivered what they want, even myself what I want to see the section after months of training and bonding. There must be an objectives in life to achieve especially being appointed as a leader. Without that mindset you won't be that successful.

The day before a friend told a group right in front of me, "Rahman punya orang kerja kuat je tak kisah orang." (Rahman is a workaholic, but don't care about others) I only retaliate by keeping quiet and smile broadly with a saying Thank You. And for all the help I've done to this friend, is this the way he reciprocate in that manner. I mean, yes I'm a workaholic but did he ask me why in the first place why I'm like this??? I'm still nursing my heart for so how many bloody weeks. That's why I focused on, other than thinking so much/staring at the sky or the bloody wall. I don't want the rest to get the wrong/negative impression of me. I'm not whining but I just want tell you out there, no matter what, there's still be people got nothing to do, gossip or saying bad stuffs. We can't run away from it but face it with a smile.

2010-06-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

I just realised I'm really really exhausted. My eyebag is showing, my body represents that type where my back is hunching, walking like a zombie. Really overworked myself to the limit. I really need moreeee sleep.

After weeks of sitting at home, finally yesterday I went out to town places after an anger management workout at work. Haha.. was pissed off from 12pm till 5pm the Engine couldn't fit in nicely into the gearbox. Was hell of a madness with Sheena and Iman. Though the oil droplets dripped onto my face and even hair makes me the "Orang Minyak (Oil Man)" yesterday. It was pure luck it went in, the 3 of us was stunned. Was like "eh... So that lucky huh?" After hours of venting, shaking, rattling and hammering, the engine was so kind towards us because it was T.G.I.F. Hahahaha.

confusion of myself

2010-06-06T17:16:00.003+08:00

Job prospect. this is so confusing. I'm confused by myself...

Few alternatives I can work but which one does my heart goes on about it???

Labour job is not tough for me, I've worked in that industry, experienced it before. There's teaching even though only for certain semester, what do i do if they are having exams??? rot??? There's FNB line I'm in there before or warehouse industry offers more amount of salary but time isn't helping. Wa liao, help me help me. I need advices, my future is uncertain. Because I 'm very versatile in every areas which I'm very clueless on what to do after this.

Teaching is what I adore most. But how long can i sustain this????
GYSS??
JYSS??
CHIJ PS??
YTSS???

Going bonkers about this. Just 95 days left really. It's scaring me up to my head. Hahaha.

YTSS sekolah dia pulak kena pergi. Hahaha. Jangan terserempak sudah main clarinet eh Fareha.

2010-05-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

I know how she feels,

it affects me.

I know what you thinking,

it affects me.

Because I know from bottom of your heart it hurts. Well let's just faced it, even if you have to go and found a happiness of your own. I'll just stand here, support you with a heavy heart and smile. I know you still rock my socks the best ever and I just wanna walk through it, explore the horizons, learning one or two about life purpose.

I'm not giving up, are you???

2010-05-29T11:39:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to enjoy as much as possible for now. Because after Hari Raya, I'm gonna pursue on with emotions, mind games etc etc. It's not everyone's favourite job, but if it's onto your passion why not? Go on, overcome everything. The most important thing now for me is to get back, recap everything that I've learnt. I confessed I'm abit rusty yo. Hahahaha. I don't know where I'll be thrown over but let's just face it. Be prepared whatever you've been into, get on with life in a CIVILIAN way.

AKU TENGELAM!

2010-05-23T01:52:00.002+08:00

life is about choices.

I know I can't endure this, but I have to go through the whole ordeal. I couldn't be faking around to be happy. It's not EASY )':

current state

2010-05-13T21:53:00.003+08:00

Time for Abang besar nak cakap. (Time for Big brother Speech)

Haaaas..

I'm restless day by day, just couldn't sit around. I need songs or motivation before work seriously. Every morning walked like a Panda with my ass weighing down dragging, it's tough ok. The feeling some sort remorseful or lazy. That blue couch/sofa was purely heaven, I'll just drug myself to sleep after few minutes. That's my 5 days weekly morning blues, I'll just have to discipline myself next time, maybe try coming at 6.30am and sleep before work starts at 7.45am. Hopefully...

Alot of my friends are curious why I didn't eat during morning/afternoon tea break. Like I said I'm saving up money, I have to look forward of what's the outcome of my future. I'm just fucking clueless what's gonna happen. I got this habit of spending more once I started seeing all the stupid stuffs. That's why after work I didn't attend for dinner, just went home straight. Prevent from spending spree.. So please forgive me for the nonsense but reality reason peeps.

I need photos! Hadi please la hadi. Hahaha

63 days is already long enough, hopefully till eternity. I'm not gonna put hope that it'll be longer. As long our heart stays strong together, we will get there one day, I'm sure because I have faith in us.

A day go beyond crazy

2010-05-09T19:44:00.003+08:00

Happy mother's Day everyone.

Definitely a good moment to spend time with, at the end of the day does a present really be it a presentable one???? For me, i had complains/scolding/troubling my mum for 20 odd years. Still the only think that I want in future is that I can adapt to support her. Thats all I want. And do you think a present for a day makes her happy? But that happiness fades away after a day. Hmmm.. Hahaha.. Nevermind as long there's a cake should be enough. The thing is what makes your idle mum happy????

I can name a few:

Fold your blanket before going to school or work? (Trust me this works)

Cook/made some dish that makes her go gaga

Just make a call to say, I've just finish work, what you wanna eat/anything that she needs?

Haha, as long she's happy is good enough.

I was on my way to Jurong Point for the 1.5kg strawberry cake at Prima Deli and suddenly something struck my mind. So without a thought after I dropped off at the Boon Lay interchange I went to John Little straight. I was engrossed on the T-shirt by Renoma due to the small/tight fit shirt and cheap price which is 3 for $19.90 in 3 different colours. Consider I was too happy, upon reaching the booth what I saw was M, L, XL and XXL sizes. Panickly browse inside the booth looking for S size but to no avail. Still not effing happy, approach the service people, and she said SORRY no more stock. It saddens me one-quaterly .. haha. Browse another brand, hush puppies was kinda stretchable since its cheap but overall when i looked at it, very disappointing though, mcm selekeh. Went for another brand, it hooked me since it's the material that I want but it sold at 2 for $15, in different colours and in V neck with button. The brand was brodly I guess, I forgotten about it! The sizes are there, after much thought about the colours I've chosen. I took it out and turned around, the Cashier's queue was way way long! My heart sank deeply was in emotional state. Like a ship sank after crash on the rocks! When I looked at the time, my mind was asking, I guess everyone is waiting for me and the cake. So I just put back the stuff I've chosen and went for the cake. My day is spoilt then. So sad luh... Haiyo! Not because of the queue but on the Renoma brand, no size. Please la god, WHY??? Are you preventing me from spending??? My mum is happy but I'm not. Hahahahaha.

2010-05-03T19:25:00.002+08:00

aaaah fuck.

I'll post once i got the photos. Because I enjoyed every single second with

Anak Marzuki! <3

My Future

2010-04-30T10:48:00.003+08:00

Hello folks.

Time comes we share, we joke, we laugh, we enjoy.

but I'm too serious in anything. Maybe because it's how I brought up in one way or another. Test market with me and I'll do. Hah!

Don't believe asked those who've been with me all those years.

Block Leave today and Off in Lieu on Monday it's just another great weekend for me. Also a good time to rest for myself. Another 2 big project coming up, pushing my lungs out starting next tuesday. I was so emotionally mentally EMO while working especially when there's a heavy downpour. One main reason is that I was working alone, and I didn't see the rest. They gone in a seconds at some place working as a group. Usually Nur'iman was with me working together, we could just sprung out talking about the future. He's away in a course so probably I'll miss this friend of mine for as long as one month. Another reason was the heavy downpour and suddenly all those emotional songs playing on the radio. Really slowed down my tempo of working and I just take my time doing. Since I was alone there...

Huufff, puuufff!

4 more months to go. May, JUNE, July, August and the first week of September. Just hope whatever desire I want to do, hopefully I gain something. Probably after a week of hari raya then I'll start to work. Insyallah...

American Idol 2010 Season 9 Top 7 - Idol Gives Back 2010 - Carrie Underwood

2010-04-25T12:32:00.000+08:00

beautiful voice that touch the audience

2010-04-22T17:11:00.006+08:00

hello folks. sorry for the M.I.A madness.

Was feeling a little more setback, sickness, coughing season for 3 consecutive weeks. Thanks to my stubbornness i didn't even want to see a doctor. Hahaha. But forget about it, I'm finally ok, just freshen up my body/stamina yesterday. I'm not rushing but a 2.7km run, plus 3 sets of Push ups, Jumping Jacks, Squad Bender and Crunches isn't that good for beginning? Or am i pushing to hard on the start? Hmmm....

That feeling like a pinch that makes you swell wasn't that good. It's just a matter of time I'll blow up someday or somehow. Just wish everything I do, is for the family sake alright. No matter what, priority is more to the FAMILY. Because without the F and M, I wouldn't be here in this world. Love you all...

Good things comes with a good speech.
I was chosen the Tentera Terbaik (Best Soldier) for the Quarter Year. I'm Honoured to represent for Club 33, without you people, it's impossible. I wanna thank every single one of you even the higher authorities. Thank so much! Just one solid day to lead the whole Club 33. It's just sososososososo great standing infront with the respect from everybody. The pride and honour : One command everybody listens.

When I looked that old photo on the left which dated back 2008 the day before I enlist I think till the current photo...
Gosh. I've changed alot. A massive difference but neither our relationship as Brother-Sister fades away. You know I physically don't have a real sister in my family. So she's the only one that been with me all these years. Thank You for all the memories dated back from 2004. Thus I'm happy to see you growing up, becoming more wiser and going to be a mature 20 year old girl this coming september. Time pass so fast huh SHUHUI?

Just hope to see you get married one day. Haha

Thats all I'm hoping for.. Bless my wishes please!

WHY?

2010-04-06T22:09:00.008+08:00

Hello ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't know both us can pissed off , be happy, cry, sad and even SICK at the same time. Really this is just not a mere coincidence but like it's fated. It's not easy to find someone who can share happiness and sadness at the same time. Like I said it's not just a mere coincidence but a shocking part of my life that I never been with since with Her. Cool right??????

Maybe time to look back the days.... Not all of you knew. So here's the poem what we've gone through

There's one day, A love message comes,

Which it won't fade away, when we closed our eyes,

Each everyday

That's the moment, when I'm with you dear.

Our love keeps growing bigger and stronger,

Day after day, All because of you,

All this because,

Of your love from me to you.

Your are just like a part of my life,

And just like my heart, always keeps me beeping,

Just like my eyes that, allows me to keep looking at you

I just couldn't run from the fact,

That I really do love you Baby!

All this because,

I treasure and cherished you alot.

You are just like an angel of love,

That approaches me and enter my world,

I accepted the request of his love but I never notice,

That I have fallen to his world.

And he said "you are not falling to my world",

But we just entered to our world of love,

I says WHY?????

He said because "I'm one in a million"

and I just couldn't stop treasuring him alot.

I don't want anything, I just want him,

on my side always, I don't need any gifts from him.

The gift that I want is only me and him enters

The world of our love alone and I said

Jet'amie!

Thailand band was awesome

2010-04-04T17:03:00.013+08:00

MUSE FESTIVAL 2010 was extraordinary.

A very big welcome from all other countries CHINA/THAILAND & MALAYSIA BANDS!

Was enjoying the whole day, took photos with the Thailand bandsmen including the TEACHER-IN-CHARGE**I guess** Venue for the event was held at Singapore Conference Hall. Walking at the back stage reminds me 5 years back, with my JYSS batch. I missed that even more. It was an eye opener for me, yet this is the most memorable part of the process. I got tons to say but I won't be updating more words here. Probably tomorrow, its my day off. Need to rest more, enjoyed every minutes and every seconds there. Missed performing on the grand stage, that feeling haunts me back year after year. The SCH memories won't fade away. It's every musicians dreams to perform in a good acoustic hall.. The grandest I've performed once was in Esplanade concert hall. Hope I'll return that place once again relinquish all those memoirs. Once again thank you for the memories, SAAWAADIKAP!

Oh god, when can i see that Thailand Percussionist Girl plays again???

Her skills are so damn good! Tehnically better, gripping wise, posture.

saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddiiikaaaaaappp!!

2010-03-29T19:40:00.003+08:00

Time flies, seize that opportunity and everything turns out right. I guess so, to me. Hahaha.

But... I did learnt that when loving someone, both parties are willingly to share that speciality feeling. Not just a guy says he loves the girl, and the girl went "WAWAWA!" I LOVE YOU TOO. -.-" Weird right????? So why not sit down have some thought, what happens when LOVE struck you???

Something you can't explained by both parties

Something similarities happened at the same time

Or even that feeling hold up for a few seconds and you breathe out calmly that the heart pumps quite fast

It's beginning to happen quite fast that we couldn't sit there and wait. It's just a matter of time to let it go, and it did! You know??????

Till now that feeling didn't fades away. Take a step at a time, eventually the flower blooms. I can't deny that it's like these 2 lost souls connected to each other. The mutual understanding was very strong, like he/she can felt somethings right/wrong. Just hope these 2 lovely souls will stay loveyly, be strong and committed to their love life.

IT HAPPENS ONCE IN A LIFETIME. CAN YOU FIND A BETTER PERSON WHO CAN STEAL HIS/HER HEART??? NO REPLACEMENTS

current state of my life

2010-03-26T00:49:00.003+08:00

Hello folks, my blog super duper boring right????? Due to every sentence i typed, I cut through and I don't elaborate much about the sentence. Till the readers don't even understand the phrase what I'm trying to say! Actually I'm too direct luh.... you know??? Straight forward. Speaking got abit HOKKIEN/CHINESE/TAMIL/MALAY. I'm a typical SINGAPOREAN.

Bukan ku tak sudi.. Kasih... Haha. That melody so classic by Saleem Iklim.

I'm finally happy with the current state I'm in. I don't wish to elaborate more, but I'll slowly build this closeness from scratch. Only the close ones will know and I'm glad someone appreciates me like I never had this feeling so long. It doesn't fades away till today, that's a good start for me slowly. Probably must admit for god sake, took things for granted that I kept harbouring on my thoughts too much. The most problematic part of my life is that I can't control since ages! And........ usually when I'm sick or injured I don't bother to SMS where am I, I'll take a step to be strong, learn the hardway to get well. I don't want make people worry for me most of the time. That's how I'm being brought up, so sorry about all the misjudgement stories.

FYI: Thanks so much for the care the other day, though I was limping going back home slowly, steadily. (: Finally I can walk! I was so lucky my ankle didn't snapped. It was the scariest moment I've been facing. Thank God.

Everyone is finding me nowadays during work just to rectify. Whatever it is, I got a responsibilities now, I just want them to learn as much what I've learnt from a professional who burnt my ass for a week. Hahahaha! As long you keep doing the things, learn something each day, nothing will fall through. As what my friend said to me after tea break/lunch, why you start so fast??? Siao on ar??? I replied: Spend something meaningful, and your one minute doesn't drag you very long!

RAHMAN AKA FIAT/IVECO SPECIALIST

tired

2010-03-22T01:51:00.003+08:00

anak marzuki!!!!

I'm definitely tired. Last Saturday came back to work also. The last of the 3 weeks that CLUB 33 OVERTIME. Soooo.. yea. Near evening went to Bedok Hidayah's house to celebrate Her mum's Birthday. Aye.. Smoke time with Hidayah's Bf. He's super duper quiet la. Hahaha. But anyway nice to know him.

Mariam, Hidayah, Hidayah's Bf, Me & Firli

understand

2010-03-14T01:24:00.002+08:00

Today was somehow speechless for me. Yet I'm pondering is it a good way to start with???? Somehow I myself didn't realised that this heart is no longer lost no more, this heart is searching for the right soul, the right partner, the right love to be with. I did realised finally the true meaning, the sincerity, the love was not just a mere saying. But an act of passion from the other side. Somehow we managed to gel together quickly as if we've known for years. I took a little step forward, this is the best I could give. (:

An euphonium solo touched me, all the corners of my ears. Mesmerize by the melody, and suddenly saxophones barge in with accent long notes. It did kill the melody and my heart turned sour right after it. If only we could understand music, the emotions of the players playing. If only they could be the nice ladies singing as the background singers supporting the soloist. I bet the whole band will follow suit together, feel it with arms wide open. Its all about emotions and feelings. Still that melody lingers through my mind.

If only........ we could understand.

KRANJI WAR MEMORIAL/KAMPUNG BUANGKOK/BOTTLE TREE

2010-03-07T16:08:00.009+08:00

Hey folks. It's march month of tiredness.
Never had a good real sleep this week. Almost slept 2am/3am due to OVERTIME at Club 33. Had to wake up 5.30am in the morning every single day. I just don't want to be late or slack to slow down time which i did previously, almost lost everything. But it's difficult waking up at 5.30am, even the alarm clock sucks. I had to get someone, called my phone to wake me up. Haas. Thanks aye. A good morning without coffee before start of work is weird, you know???

Had a good Saturday eventually ITE BAND was normal to me.

NINA missed call my phone, straight woke up called KENNETH too. Met up the oldoldold friends from JYSS band, SYABRINA(Cousin), ERIKA and NONI. To commemorate their Birthday ERIKA 21st & SYABRINA 20th yea. Was writing the Bday card then asked NONI something, "Eh syabrina 17 already huh???" . NONI gave me that kinda look. Obviously my own cousin I forgotten she's 20 now. To me she's the same 17 year old, small SYABRINA that I used to see. Hahaha. My bad my bad. This shows I'm getting older, forgotten alot of stuffs, confessed that I'm OLD! Haaass.

Thanks to ERIKA!

My cousin and me. See..

The soldiers who lost their lives.

I'll post a few photos first. There'll be more.. but next time I guess

commitment

2010-02-27T15:21:00.003+08:00

well another good weekend to rest. Probably spend more time with my going to be 1 year old niece. Apa tak, birthday sebelah-sebelah je ngan aku. Sayang banget! :P

Into consideration MARCH probably will be the busiest part of the year. Overtime for 3 weeks for CLUB 33, weekends Birthday parties, conduct a cohesion with a group of young people and probably invite a few of young musicians play a song or two in a jamming room. Hopefully I've done something good for the benefit of those people. Early April still got that MUSE festival for ITE Band. A friend of mine, Mr Harrizuan invited me to play with the Alumni's of NVSS/HCS for their concert. Still contemplating whether I can prioritize my commitment. Yea, so many stuffs going on, and I'm still at this juncture where I couldn't prioritize for my own self commitment. I still haven't apply ABRSM Music theory yet or even Bike/Car license. I should have done that lonnnnggg ago before I enlist to the Nation. Because of family financial difficulties I couldn't get what I want. I just have to go on without regrets take it as a stern test. ((: That's why I'm living independently, trying not to make mistakes like what both of my parents did in their previous younger life. Even they are divorced, still they are my parents. Without them, there isn't me staying alive here. Thank god I met alot of wonderful friends/students/older friends etc etc haha!

Hungry to succeed!

2010-02-21T16:07:00.002+08:00

We live to decide....

A lonely long walk at the beach, a good time to ponder, to decide.

2010-02-13T19:03:00.005+08:00

A song dedicated to all of you around the world.

Never gonna be alone by Nickelback

I know tomorrow will be a SPECIAL DAY for most couples. But to those or relevant people like me, don't get disheartened so soon. Like complaining OMG Tomorrow will be A SINGLE LONELY DAY FOR ME. Don't let emotions run around ya????? Because I've been visiting people's blog and it repeats the same meaning. Let's look ahead, widen our views, each day is a SPECIAL DAY. Which many you don't realised. Like....

Good morning/night messages.
How your friends missed you so much when you are absent or away
The care when you are in deep trouble with problems
More often the Support especially exams or some physical activities carried around.

These little contributions are often neglected. It's just that we tend to forget the happy stuffs faster than the bad stuffs. All the bad stuffs dragged months years. What about the happy stuffs???? Just A DAY -.-" Don't you think so?
Come let's give some love...

Happy valentines to everyone

With Regards,

RAHMAN

2010-02-11T22:44:00.002+08:00

hello folks.

I'm back home yesterday night from my vigorous training on the field. I'm proud of what I've done whether a small or large contribution to the section. We survived together. I hope in the near future for reservist, we are mentally physically prepared.

Yea was angry over my brother for not being the responsible one. He dropped the laptop but the inner screen broke into pieces which I couldn't see anything, colourless though. I stared at the laptop for the moment, and explore other alternatives without asking. Eventually I found out a port, that links to any screen. Immediately without hesitation, I went to check the Samsung Television, which I realised it has a same port just like the laptop. Finally bought the cable, fixed and now I can multi-task in between of using the laptop or the TV. Was overwhelming because I did without asking moreover panic. Thats one part of my life that I've improved mostly was to find other alternatives without asking first. Sad to say, the irresponsible one just sit down, with a don't bother attitude. It's ok.. I'll be patient.

Today half day work, went to GYSS with Jasen. Everything changed, but i missed all the sharing problems session. After one year plus finally got to see, all those who have grown up. From being so small to the handsome/pretty students. It's just a matter of time, attitude will change. I promise my words are true. Don't believe, we'll see... Haa! Planning to do a Percussion Cohesion for GYSS next month. I still need another adult with me to handle the Cohesion seriously. Invite the sec 2's also, even though I didn't know more about them. But they are good to in terms of playing, I just hope the Sec 3's & 4's will lead/guide together. If everyone work cohesively, the whole section will be strong independantly. So let's hope a good cohesion/bonding session together.

2010-02-06T13:26:00.002+08:00

hey people, i'm back from base. Will book in tomorrow night.
Officially will give all out from MONDAY onwards on the field till probably WEDNESDAY or THURSDAY. The whole week been facing with flu, running nose and throat pain. Still I carry on, hold on with the training, finished what I've started. Hopefully I won't spoilt market on MONDAY's the real thing.

After Action Review

Someone spoke about a person mentality.

But the question is, how far can that mentality goes???????

Somehow/somewhat I can guess people's mentality. I don't know but it's true ok!

Especially talking on the phone. Haha!

And I realised I had alot of friends who are older than me. Like 23/24 year old. The best was 27 and even 30 years old. I looked upon them as friends for opinions/life learning. I apply whatever task being hold up, and thanks to these people. I can manage with ease. THANK YOU old birds. Hahaha! Mr/Miss/Mrs/Mdm ......

Teambuilding

2010-01-31T13:35:00.005+08:00

I'm in between of the logs!

Me and Zahid

Section 1/Section 4/External

This the event that happened last friday, 29 january 2010.

Held at the shines, along upper boon keng road. Teambuilding for a day. Early stages we played games finally get to know more about our characteristic. Even during games time i finally knew what's my characteristics are all about.

I got abrasions on my left neck. Due to the log I climbed like a monkey. Haha! This kind of thing people complained but, its a normal thingy where people will get injured. Climbed on to the 6metre height where Zahid and me walked through the long log thingy. It's the trust, communications and I must admit Zahid was frantic all over.

His whole body was shivering, just grabbed my shirt and pulled me! haha. After few minutes he listened to me. I don't think we can make it till the end if he doesn't listened to me, calm himself down. While Zahid was looking straight, very calmly panic, Encik Lee was shouting from the ground while taking a picture of us, Ronaldinho! Smile!

I looked down and smiled with a twist!

There were madness. A tattoo boy was very scared, shivering walking on the long log. He was vulgarising on the top and suddenly, TATTOO AKU BOLEH BUANG LA. (My tattoo can throw away) . This reaction was the unexpected. So you see.. even those bad personalities got their good/bad points. Expect the unexpected....

Angel

2010-01-30T16:30:00.003+08:00

I'm seriously missed teaching GYSS.

)':

It's the only period where I've learned more than I expected.

It's the only period where learning can be more fun than just theory book wise.

It's the only period where our secrets between us, the old uncle like me and the young babies like them.

If only time would bring back that joyness, the love, care, respect, the fun.

If only my job is to nurture students in their CCA's collaborate with their normal lives learning to be independant.

Isn't that something meaningful???

GOOD, I LIKE...

2010-01-24T22:04:00.004+08:00

Had 2 awesome BBQ-ness cum bithdays.

Fri night at Sentosa and yesterday night at East Coast Goldkist.

Vodka-ing fuck.

lying down at the beach to prevent any unwanted happenings, slept there.Eventually Nad and Zack woke me up. Got up and i think i was walking the zig zag formations back to chalet. And i don't realised where i was.

Everyone saw the whole thingy!

Finally.....

Happy 21st Birthday to SHERLINA!

and of course Happy 28th Birthday to NIZAM!

Conquer fate is better that leaving fate to decides.

rock!

2010-01-22T10:56:00.002+08:00

Hahaha

We will rock you!

FORZA!

going to sentosa for the signature event later at 1pm.

update me an sms on the beeping phone.

will end probably at night or tmr morning. (:

2010-01-19T21:40:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday went ITE Band at Simei.

After that, have a good heavy lunch with Karem, Syahidah, Zahir and Nad. Officially Nad will be going Aussie to further studies while the rest joined later on. Time flies, people are leaving for their own good future. "Have a good learning experience there in the Aussie Nad!"

Went to VCH watched a Moulmein Wind Symphony concert with Loyang secondary. The first year of a good concert. Though it takes time to blend with the ITE bandmembers, the new ones. I felt I'm really that old sia. I mean most of them like 17/18/19 yrs old? yea.. hahaha.

How about me???
I still think earning an income is better than study right now. I mean i need to continue that life, and i couldn't sit there study as much without income going. It's really pressurizing, your parents paid for you so much for that few thousands, but the results you got is disastrous. So why not work????

That's how i feel right now.

One thing that changed me, I beginning to ask alot of questions. From my point of view. haha
Ciaox people!

GOLD

2010-01-15T20:03:00.010+08:00

I'm proud to say, words can't describe, as i cheered on my last runner through the last line. A punched in the air showed my teammates resilience on conquering the other teams. I started off with a bang for both relays as a starter, gasping for air, outstretching my legs to the maximum while my hands movement keep on up and down with the baton on my right. In terms of rank among the four or so called the old birds, I had to lead the other three juniors in my team, gave a positive encouragement. The juniors were dejected upon looking at the other opponents before the game. "At this moment we only got seconds to prove your worth, I believe in your abilities, have faith in all of us." And Congrats to us, we scoop GOLD for both relays.

My best ever sports meet.

One last time again, Club 33 was the champions for the sports event.

A good morale for the first event of the year.

Well done Club 33!

it's show time tomorrow

2010-01-14T23:32:00.003+08:00

Well I should say today even though I was nearly a GOLD recipient for IPPT. But I'm satisfied enough for a SILVER. Due to my 2.4km run, it dragged me one par below of GOLD. How I wish I could grab that GOLD. My target was to improve of my last year SILVER records. Every station improved but my running, though improved i was nearly by seconds to GOLD. Actually quitttteeeee disappointed but at least I've maintained my fitness till now. I was leading 1st for the 2.4km run after I chased 10 men from behind. But frankly it was not easy mentally and physically.

And I spur on

Tomorrow another good Friday for me which is a Sports day! I'm hoping for my favourite event, 4 x 100 m, 8 x 100m (Change of command), 100 m. Can say it's my debt to pay that I wasted my 6 years in secondary and tertiary schools without participating any of the relays or single events. You trained 2 years of your time but your effort is just that merely seconds of your time given. Totally missed that primary school years in Track and Field where I stood to be the best.

fickle minded madness

2010-01-11T00:51:00.004+08:00

I was sitting at TAMPINES interchange waiting for a bus. Enjoying playing PSP, suddenly an old guy with a bandaged on his left knee, standing/holding an umbrella, limping, approached to me, smiled broadly at me.

Old Guy: Excuse me son.. Old man wanna sit.

I couldn't barely care while enjoying playing PSP. Con-currently while I was too hype on the games he was seating talking to me , i just continued pressing/triggering the PSP.

Old Guy: Son, I left my wallet at home. I called my son-in-law he never answered my phone call. Even my daughter too. I just need $10 from for my bus here to bedok.

And I answered: WOOOOOAAAHH! uncle, $10 to bedok by taking bus??? So expensive.

Old guy smiled broadly. You mind for $10???

Guess what I did?????????????

Me: Hold on Uncle.

I dig through my pockets found a 10 cents coin gave it to him.

Me: Sorry Uncle, this is the money that I have for your transport.

His expressions changed, and he could stand straight up and walked like a normal person! He isn't limping too. I was angry because of his insincere way of asking. How could a person take a bus, with a bus fare of $10??? I mean its too much. Jolly well should know the fare for buses should be less than $2. Tampines to Bedok isn't far, and he isn't limping like a sick old man. Well humans can't change.

Stop acting differently for money humanoid

stun moments

2010-01-07T22:13:00.002+08:00

okok settle down ladies and gentlemens.

Stun moment of my time.

"CPL RAHMAN fall out your man"

Was staring at the unit logo and once settled down stared to every each of the man in front of me with a fierce look, "Company watch your front, company sedi.. ah!"

Stunned for 10 seconds thinking... Keluar baris or Bersurai??

humming for another 10 seconds, men started to giggle...

finally,

EEeeeerrrr.... Keluuuaaarr Baaarriiisss!

Spoiler. haha.

My first time drill was a success. I didn't know today for the second time, i perform that drill and was overshadowed by the old scared RAHMAN. weird. Life unpredictable, but i find it quite farrrrnii.

2010-01-06T19:57:00.002+08:00

erm...

well i could say life must go on. i'm strong enough, family don't treasure enough. i decide for myself.

believe

2010-01-04T20:56:00.004+08:00

A good work for the first day of the year.

I know most of the people are still in MON blues or lala land environment. But that didn't stopped me from working. I achieved one vehicle pass out today for a start of a new year!

A good day, desire burning, hope it won't stop me. Cos I got more important technical stuffs to contribute to the nation. Even though 8 months away, I believe I can contribute something rather than stoning each day waiting for that final month. A good sweaty, tirelessly day I can say.

Shit I lost my size 13 spanner, right from my toolbox!
Hahahaha. important spanner though. most of the bolts were used are size 13. heh.

As well to all you people, no matter what. Try not to get addicted to something, if you really need to focus. Just do your part because at the end of the day. You reap something more than others.

Believe

I was hoping for an Arsenal Shirt. My one and only wish since young. But really it cost tons of money to purchase one just significant shirt. Even I watched them during live matches on tv, I envy those young players. I would rather pay a trip to watch a soccer team play passing, enjoying rather than just kick one end to another end. Thats how I fell in love to Arsenal since young. It's not easy building a young generation each year. Against the older, experienced players yet they the young ones triumph over them most of the time. (:

2009

2009-12-31T15:22:00.003+08:00

Today marks the end of 31 December for 2009. The end of another year/another chapter of a story. Let's just summarize through... can say bored. Haha. Just click on the X icon if you prefer, if not keep on reading people.

2-OH-OH-9

Club 33

It has been one of a good year since I entered Club 33. The most havoc/good/naughty people I've met. As I looked on all the other depots, club 33 was the most outstanding, the most closest bonding people I've ever met. I could even find a NIGHTMARE guy/MACAM PAHAM guy or even just a PAI TAO guy. The creativity was there, we even whoop all the events not trying to be the best but BE THE BEST among the other 4 depots by aiming for champions, we did that several occasion. We come so far, yet I missed those people who left us, their journey with Club 33 has helped the new ones gel together cohesive as a unit. I'm left with 8 months 11 days with Club 33, it's important to me and the rest though because we are the pillars for the 3rd generation people. I hope we'll run the show smoothly.

33! aaohh, aaohh, aohhh! all the way!

Music scene
I swear that my skills really going down the drain. Tsk tsk, my rolling is abrupt. My goodness, i'll buck up slowly, patiently. I know my 2 years sentence pulled me away from the music scene. I'm still contemplating to further up music or cool down as hobby. It's not easy, all i want to earn more money for my survival. Really if a good opportunity comes, I'll gradually improve on my performances, grab it and secure a good normal life.

I lack time meeting my old friends even family too.
Sorry to all, really got a tough life. No worries, I'll try to visit some of you. Take care friends.

New Year Resolution????
Nah....
Let's just stick to Me,
Myself,
And I.

far away

2009-12-26T10:51:00.003+08:00

I'm somewhere far away for 3 days straight. Might continue till one week...
My facebook shoutout :

the best place is to go far away, have some thoughts before making any good/bad decisions. Currently away from family & friends.

Anything Beep me through the phone. Thanks

My Time

2009-12-23T22:44:00.006+08:00

My long lost twin

Firza!

the old people of percussionist

Alif, Rahman, Sherlina and Amanina!

21st DEC

Photos that I've never updated. Last week on the 15th Dec, had ITE band BBQ at east coast, just drop by to have some close updates on the rest. I remember it was raining though, yea. My shoes were wet enough that I felt, I'm drenched on the inner side rather than the outer. Haha! Smelly la dey!

21 Dec 2009

The last concert of the year. Went to support Nuan Qi's band, Jurong JC with a guest band invited which was Catholic High from Malaysia and Pierce Secondary Band. My longest outstanding godsis SHUHUI was with me and WANG SHUANG whole evening till night. It's been so long since I talked so much to SHUHUI. It's good to have that close connection after for so long. I'm seeing stars actually on that concert, but Nuan Qi like don't bother/care of what I've been hinting of. ^^ Suddenly the only malay girl in the band was like outshining me, so yea. blablablablabla. you should know. haha.

Jurong JC band needs more strength for trombones/trumpets/euphoniums. If only there were more, the 3 trumpet girls currently could have more energy after a song or two. There were unbalanced in the band system. I mean the sound though, but don't panic, if the woodwinds can tone down getting more balance with the brasses, there should be no problem. Another alternative is to recruit more brasses people. There's lack of a punch at some part of the song. Felt empty at times due to the strength from the brasses. But woodwinds gave one hell of a good show and the horns. It melts me at times especially when the band is building up suddenly horns at the right time nicely suits it in like a jigsaw puzzle. Impact/balance/soothing music. Overall it was a quite satisfactory concert. Nuan Qi ar! got my message now????

reminisce

2009-12-20T15:21:00.003+08:00

17 December 2009

what more can i do????

Helplessly down though. I should start being positive, but in other words criticism pulled me down. Right now we are in a rocking stage. Yet no matter how much words/care/love I've put in, still you don't understand. And my luck went downhill.

Try not to be too emotional, but i have to be strong. I've been clinging to it for so long. How much sacrifices I did, do think over it ya??? It's not easy for me to go through all this but ended up in disappointment in just a split seconds. I wish I wouldn't care but heart still lingers through you. We walked and hold each others hand till here,

so are you giving up just like that??????

those were the days.

2009-12-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

too tired to type.

we'll see whats the outcome

(:

SG Idols

2009-12-08T22:21:00.005+08:00

I was hoping both women went to the finals of Singapore Idol. But it cracked me. Boo! Tabitha was one of a rare talent, reminisce me of a singer called Beyonce. She will go further than the rest.

Took one week leave at the end of the month. Officially 11 days including Christmas, new year. Time to relax... for December. Some people whom I've not met for long, travel have a surprise visit. So yea, December is a good month yo.

2009-12-06T14:21:00.003+08:00

Many aliens said the youngest will be the mostly pampered.
But to both of us, we(my gf and me) are not. Our siblings are giving us problems. Hahaha. Its true, the fact is that we live in a way that our older siblings are finding us to resolve things. Till now we held up high surviving though...

And yesterday was our supermarket day.
Each month once, we went to the supermarket for groceries. blablabla...

Hearts!

Next week our anniversary. (;

good and bad times

2009-11-30T01:50:00.004+08:00

I had this feeling I'm rather upset over things that I did in the past. But instead on pass it forward, what I got was stab on backwards. Felt the pain like slitting my throat and let the blood drips. I just don't know what to react though but whatever/whoever whom I pass it on to, the symbolic of treasuring doesn't seemed that good. Nah..

Where's my favourite handphone gone to?

Being sold to a retail shop, without my approval.

Is this call love yea??

Spare me some love

Love life was somehow a different feeling. I bet when I type all those mushy2 stuffs here, Xintian and Kimberly will be the ones asking. In that case I'll have to quieten down a little softer more prior to that lost twins. Hah! Well... so far its ok. Finally there's maturity in our love life. Though we lacked the time spending together due to work but that minimal time was really just purely happy. I never gave up on her neither lost faith in her. I beginning to understand that sacrifices, its reaping fruitfully. Hopefully we'll be better prepared in future to come. I'allah.

No longer the age of child's play.

ARENA

2009-11-25T22:10:00.006+08:00

UNIT ANNIVERSARY ON MONDAY NIGHT

Place held at ARENA CLARKE QUAY.

I became wild on that spectacular night. Though enjoyed every each tiny witsy events happened on that night. What a bummer, I was too L-A-Z-Y to dress up you know. Haha. Who cares, most important thing is ENJOY. With a glass of Tiger Beer, everything went hooked up for me. Bloated with alcohol.

Received a message ITE BAND got GOLD award in GENTING competition. Congrats congrats!

MY GOALS

2009-11-21T12:47:00.002+08:00

Conduct a successful repertoire

PECOS PUEBLO

arranged by

Wong Kah Chun

Bad day

2009-11-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

I don't want to rant as much as an old grandpaps.

Been feeling exhausted, well could say, blame myself for not sleeping well these past 4 nights. Got caught single handedly by a higher authority. Just a mere of one/two seconds switching off, easily said doze off. The fact he said pulled my ego upwards to the extreme. Almost nearly wanna told him off, but its regimental. So I can't just shoot my mouth happily, you know I'm a straight forward person. And for being accused of not working was something I'm paranoid. All this time, I worked, slogged hard, under the rain or sun. Do you know? Even my colleagues are fighting for me. Is this the way how I'm being accused??? I'm really too lethargic, just a mere one/two seconds doze off and everything hay-wire. Saying all sort of stories/lies. The way you tell your facts are not true which you are not there most of the time to see me I'm working or not. As a man, I hold my responsibilty well, to make you more happy, I accept with pride whatever sentence you've given me.

Happy now sir??????

You can have you last laugh, but time will prove you wrong.

SHEESHA-ing Happily

2009-11-15T21:20:00.006+08:00

I didn't know that time and time again, I make people touched. errrr???
Really????

Was it me???
Nevermind..

The sheesha outing.

Was puffing rabak2... till mabok.

One incident happened when the Charcoal guy was saying something and I thought i heard the right words, and i shouted "ASHADUALLAH". Infact the charcoal guy said different thing. Apparently it shows "AKU DA MEMANG PEKAK!" (I'm deaf) The whole group was laughing. Enjoying yo!

2009-11-15T13:52:00.002+08:00

hohohoho...

Yesterday went sheesha-ing at ARAB Street. Bid farewell for their Genting Trip.
Photos will upload later plus a list of stories will be put up here. Busy-ing going somewhere. Farewell, take care people [:

Choices

2009-11-13T04:36:00.002+08:00

Still contemplating on what's life ahead of me.
What other issues I have, still I must carry on with heart. Pursue on, till I've done serving. After that, another set of changes of a new life will evolve. That life would be forever there, am still probing, what will I be after that??????

As for kids, with rhymes, dreams, big creative thinking, wanna grow become teacher/fireman/police. Does anybody knows, how many people could get that dream????? Let me guess, maybe half or so. Yea, probably, I'm still missing being a student probably. Lets carry on. Must focus on, doing this job till my 2 yrs sentenced done. Hopefully, after my "2 yrs sentenced" I wanna focus on working. That's all what I'm thinking about now. No more studies for me, I gave up studies, because I'm more practical hands on. I prefer understanding in using my ten little fingers, 2 long arms, a strength etc etc. Rather I looked in a book, which I don't understand. I rather touch those stuffs and see whats the outcome. A friend commented on me saying take part time as passion, full time working??? It's not easy to commit both, if for passion I would grab it and work my way up. Who knows I might end up in this line?????

2009-11-09T21:02:00.009+08:00

MUSICA FANTASIA IV

Well what more I can say????
MUSICA FANTASIA IV Was aweeesssoome.

It was hilarious, i wore a black shiny hat, conduct with a magic wand stick. The guys wore a shiny big BOW TIE while the ladies a mask. Quite very cute, enjoyed it. For ensemble, hopefully next concert will be more outstanding since it'll be the Fifth anniversary for the concert.

All the videos put up on facebook, check on my profile.
here's the perks ensemble link on my facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=175921112375&ref=mf

I couldn't stop laughing, though they looked cute. (:

Definitely for percussionist. WELLLLLL DONE!
Thank you sooo much. To the band good luck aite?????

2009-11-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

holla folks.

looking back all those memories, where sacrifices after sacrifices, I admit. It's really pressurizing. I must admit, to everyone. I'm very committed in what I do, but to those who don't prove that commitment, I'll falter elsewhere in search of a good better committed people. Life got choices which meant to be made. We don't just go ahead with what other goody brains they have, but we choose a way to improve life ourselves by thinking/opinions/advices. I admit I've done my very best and it's time I decides her fate. Hopefully whatever decisions I've made will be granted or moreover better luh , I'allah. haha! It's not easy, but i did build her confidence up from scratch. It wasn't easy at all. Thank you, for being part of me.

ITE band concert is around the corner. I'm gonna dress differently for Ensemble. so yea, see ya all. I'm motivated to do again , more garang. Hopefully the audience will enjoy my lame lame lame movement and the section also. 7th Nov.. here I come!

2009-10-29T12:06:00.002+08:00

let's hope it''ll be a good day. It's my leave today, sianning throughout. Maybe GYSS visit.

Prior to that, been one week not feeling well. Been hammering with tissues , yeah. Thats what I did. Breathless at times, just feel wanna slit my throat take out all those eeeky dirty stuffs on my lungs. Use air blower, blow inside the lungs. haha. crap [ if only it was easy ]

I'm very stubborn in eating medicine. Prefered to be better in a non-medicine way. Haha.

Hmmmmm.... what sort of problems do I have??? Basically my stubborness, family was like rotten rojak for weeks. Being nice or bad, still I'm treated the other way round. So jyeah, best or worse come to worse, remain silent. Thats why I purposely stay at my base rather home. The only thing I want is to be happy, no point putting pressure on me. Afterall I'm the one been helping you all. Partly my fault for giving you all face.

2009-10-25T15:00:00.003+08:00

holla...

Much as i like. I'm totally tired.
Finally I got another family to attend to. (Future Parent-in-laws)

haha. so far been great. They've accepted me, but confidentiality of my past background very hard for me to let them know. So it'll take awhile for them to know me more. As far as I'm concerned, the bonding was strong, I couldn't imagine that. And thank you once more.

2009-10-20T23:03:00.009+08:00

Latest update on SUN 18 Oct. Sat was officially Deepavali, so a friend invited the whole SECTION 4 to his house on SUN. Great outing... wait wait. Pictures first!

cute?

I love making her smile

My 3IC and her son Santos
(she's married with a good looking indian guy)
Afterall love can blossom in different races too

My 2IC with his wife and 2 lovely daughters
(Childhood lovers)
Cool right????

Us!
SECTION 4

Those who were not present: Liu, S Q Ong, Syaiful, Zahid and Chen
thanks again. I wish to update about ytd, but maybe some other day bah. Take care people. 11 more months left!

2009-10-18T15:57:00.000+08:00

Bracelet
Cake
Bear
Rings

Let's find out tmr.

SECTION 4

2009-10-16T14:24:00.013+08:00

Last Sunday had a mini section 4 dinner. 2 guests were invited, ORD personnel, NUH and JERRY. We went Just Acia at Dhoby Ghaut, though I love the food there. Due to free flow of drinks and ice creams. Japanese power! Quite economically good.

Thank you those who were present: Zahid, Siah, Jerry(ord), Chen, Nuh(ord), Liu, Syaiful and Anwar.

Those who not there: Pe'ah, S Q Ong, Mamat, Hadizan, Gaddafi, Talha. Hopefully on this sun deepavali at Gaddafi's house. Aiming for muruku la dey!

send it on

2009-10-11T09:05:00.000+08:00

Action don't speaks much, but I'm aware of the surroundings. I knew it'll happen, and it did. I've accepted my fate the day since you single/shut me out. I know, it won't be good along the way. My prediction came through as wisely. I know my commitment is somehow I have to sacrifice, but nonetheless thank you. No regrets, but in theory aspects, "How about in the future, can the wife feels the pressure of being lonely when the husband itselfs somewhere overseas working?" Thats all I'm pinning on, HOPE. Because people don't understand this whole issue. Well folks, another good story ending.

I'm not blaming anyone.
Touch our hearts, are we?

ITE Band concert IV will be on 7th
November,
Place :ITE Simei Auditorium, Time: 6.00PM
Tickets at $5, contact
me if needed tickets, (I got 10 tix to sell)

I won't be performing much
repertoires, but I hope the perks can entertain one cute song for the audience if only I shake my butt, haha. Do come down and support the band. Last year support was terrific, full house support.

Time to get back to Kim Seng Wind Symphony, once I'm ready. I'allah.

Beautiful Restless Sunday

2009-10-04T22:24:00.002+08:00

Something I learnt today. Just watched a game of soccer Arsenal Versus Blackburn.
Though I'm a fan of Arsenal. I know know ppl loves Man U and Liverpool.

But what Arsene Wenger (Arsenal Coach) said makes sense most of the time. I can't deny the fact. The youngsters were breed on that club, grows till the age of maturity of becoming men, played silky sexy football without rough tackles. I would agreed buying a superstar won't make the club an academy there. Spent millions of money on just one person, won't be a good way of investment, unless the person can really adapt to the team style. He makes them turn into superstars, and I can't just believe by looking at his age of 60 to a kiddo who is learning football age 19/20? A grandpa taught what football were meant to be, to entertain and to enjoy happily. He runs the club, like his own academy. He risked by using youngsters and now looked where they are??? without buying a superstars. Money won't turn success straight away, the patience to seek success will reap eventually.

sympathy

2009-10-03T17:50:00.002+08:00

hello folks. heard of the tremors recently?

A big sympathy to the people out there especially to the countries who've been badly hit by Earthquakes & Tsunami.

Life must go on due to the world's horror earthquakes.

Still my discipline getting more kecohness, just ask Amanina and Hidayah. Teruk kan??? haha Still need time to changed my mindset. I will, Insyallah.

I devote my time here, more. Thus left 11 more months, excluding clear leave and off. I worked so hard, the pain, the bruises, scratches, the dirty blackie blackie on my hands(Amanina, obviously observed that most of the time, haha!) etc etc. I felt the pressure was heavily traumatize. Hopefully I'm strong enough in the next work year.

2009-10-01T21:01:00.001+08:00

Don't say I'm merepek(crap) . The song I post will be my inspiration for tomorrow.
I'm playing tmr!

I'll be performing with the Dikir Barat guys, playing as a Rebana. Let me tell you, I don't have any experience playing, I listened to their singing, all my rhythms stated very nicely on the Rebana. My fingers do the job, feel the music with ease. Cool huh??? Even tepuk sepuluh mcm professionalnye gua gendang la babe.

Thank god, I didn't waste 8 years learning as a percussionist. (:

I'm really2 tired, overtime sucks since last week even on SATURDAY. Brought my inspiration down totally. But a man got to do, what we guys have to do. Suffer all these now...

2009-09-21T18:44:00.007+08:00

What a week. Not relatively sad, but a joyous occasion.

I had my day yesterday wearing white Baju Kurung very outstanding colour. Was travelling alone went godma house, went to my dad's side and back to jurong my mum's side. So the whole day was A-L-O-N-E. But ok la, no more green packets for me but in return must give to them. The whole thing was quite happy feeling, kids getting money, share of laughter, jokes, forgiveness. I become kecohness with my cousins. I'm getting to see more kids nowadays, my generation mostly are getting married or married. Few nephews and nieces were there, carry the baby around like some dad. Ooops. Nonetheless, it was a happy occasion.

When is my turn?

Ans: few years time if the right one still there.

Today I invited my students to come over. 7 people came except Wei Lun wasn't around. Everyone was talking to me at the same time, I don't know who to listen to. I might need to buy a camcorder or can someone donate me with an another ear? Haha. I've tried my best with my 2 ears multi-task listening. Infact abit here and there can catch. :D Everyone is growing taller except for Benjamin, He's tall enough :P. A Box of Royce chocolate was presented to me. So thank you little ladies and gentlemen for the chocolates. Hope to see you again, when I'm free. Anyway I'm happy to see all of you again back. The old times I missed it, hope time pass faster.

I would like to take this opportunity, to ask for your forgiveness, whether I did my mistakes be it a bad one or very deeply hurtful ones. Do forgive me If I said some nasty things or rather hurtful things to you guys.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

2009-09-15T22:00:00.002+08:00

A good working colleague commented by saying, "Actually Rahman, you are a good guy, but I don't expect this kinda things happening to you, maybe all due to influence".

I replied in a calm manner, "Friend, not everyone is perfect, Out of 100% maybe about 2% or less are perfect". I may have this kind looking figure, but I was brought up in a nasty way where humans don't think what is right or wrong, where the word so called "freedom" use to be in our minds etc etc. Its not easy conditioning myself living being a good soul. Cos, I'm a fanatic baby, idiotic kind. And i don't live with influence, because I decides my fate, not my friends or anyone.

Not everyone is PERFECT

2009-09-14T22:06:00.003+08:00

Life has not been great to me. At times felt of giving up, but i'm already at my dead end. No where to go only god i could think of. I'm stuck on this rough patch, I've done my best to build my life again. But can't... All I could do was to let go every part of my life bit by bit. Till the innocent one got bitten, hurt by me. I just can't let the innocent ones continue being hurt, the best choice was to let go. Words being type, alphabets are being arranged sadly, but a heavy heart to let go was something I can't bear with. I have to... for the sake of you. Really its not what I wanted, but I have to. Let me go through the rough patch alone. Cos I know you'll only get hurt without knowing what I'm going through now. I'm sorry deeply...

I just want you be happy without me. )':

2009-09-06T08:30:00.001+08:00

Kasih..

Maafkan diriku

Banyak dosaku padamu

Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku

Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu

Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah

Hanya hatiku yang buta

Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga

Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa

Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya

chorus

Tiga malam tanpa bintang

Dan diriku dihimpit penyesalan

Arah tuju kian fana

Kerna hilangnya manira

Bagaikan siang diselubung gerhana

Kembalikan senda tawa

Pulangkanlah manis disenyum manja

Ku pahatkan keinsafan

Dan patrikan kesetiaan

Sehingga nadi menafikan nyawa

Kasih..

maafkan diriku

Banyak dosaku padamu

Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku

Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu

Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah

Hanya hatiku yang buta

Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga

Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa

Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya

Kasih…

Something that I can't accept it but I'll face with brave heart.
2 paths, only one I'll decide. I'm strong on the first path but on the second one its rough at times. Hopefully whatever decision I've made, the path I choose. Will definitely suits my life.

2009-09-06T08:22:00.003+08:00

well saturday boos.

My own god brother significantly "bust" me on a nice Saturday night. How is it nice to be alone walking in a crowded place in geylang. You know???? people have feelings too. Just picked up that bloody phone and say. "Sorry I can't make it" the earlier time. Last minute is something I'm baffled about. Waited 90 mins for that boy, and just on that 90 mins I received an sms. Now you know whats the main reason why I prefer walking alone due to this insufficient excuses. Late-coming or last min bust up after a long long wait wasn't a good idea. That's why after I'm done my thing with a group or anyone, I'll just Fuck off and go immediately with no hesitation. Kate "JANJI MELAYU" kan. I missed the last train, ferry myself to Bedok where love block just right behind. Slept at the reservoir there till the wee hours in the morning. Catch the first bus number 30 at o530 in a sleepy manner.

When you come late, you'll always want to end early. Even if you want have a break, wanna end slightly later. How to deal discipline like this if you are in the working environment??? I don't mind 5 - 15mins. 90 mins is exaggerating.

2009-08-30T16:35:00.003+08:00

hello folks!

Last week fri to city. Though its short, enjoyed every mins and secs. Hopefully Raya.. Insyallah. dapat temu duga. hehes

I missed the old percussionists usually after ITE Band, we got to wander around, become lika a half crazy people idoling around, disturb, bowlings, pools etc etc. Nowadays the new ones, everyone is home sick, and Nina and myself stuck travelling back to the west side. The rest are in the east side. You get what I mean???? Last sat went to Mak cik house after band visit the Baby. Nina went too just to pass time. Suddenly this Nina went very close to the kids at my mak cik house. Melekat habis... Haha. I just don't bother at times got my uncle and aunts to talk with.

Yesterday went Geylang with love. Really exhausted, too crowded. There's one whole stretch of foods galore about 50 meters. Once out of it, you'll sweat, the smell was tempting. haas. but I'm fasting on that particular day, she's not :X

11 more days to my 1 year serving in the service. Still pondering about what I'm suppose to do after 2 years of my time here. So much.. to think of.

earn money
stable income
marriage
future wife/future motherinlaw
bike license

I will be away for long, take care. see you on the next post hopefully.

2009-08-22T21:22:00.010+08:00

Sorry folks for not being here sharing stories/complaints everything. Some updates which never exist will pop out anytime. Haha

16 Aug AHM cum SAFRA run was awesome at the CITY of Esplanade. My first running event for like 1234567....8 years. Hopefully I'll participate more individually, like standard chartered run, etc etc. Insayallah. Will improve my speed of running and balancing, if you realised if I went out with any of you, the first thing you'll asked : "why walk so fast?" So you know this kind of things, I can't slow it down. My dad also runner mah. I'm the first for my company but top 10 among the whole cohort i guess. Experience wise very fun...

Surprise visit to GYSS. As much as I anticipated, saw the new recruits. Mostly I pitied Jasen the most, i mean who wouldn't? After bringing up the band so hard, went back down to square one. What the band needs is to maintain all the basics. Really heartbreaking at times when you can easily forget the basics which usually used in everyday lives but he did took it with a calm looking manner. Miss all those students there, some are growing taller, growing prettier & handsomier (no words found in the dictionary). Might even growing faster than me. Haha. After a great dinner with few of the percussionist, met Wei Long for a long chat. There's so much to share about our lives, something time couldn't hold us up. Imagine a day with 48 hours. Hmmmm.... Zzzz Zzzzz.. Hopefully he'll be more mentally prepared, change that mindset differently, turn this boyish attitude to men.

2009-08-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

I'm looking for a singer with a vast range of tunes. Can sing different kind of genre's, just for leisure activities. Once a week.. anyone interested sms me. Forming up a group of band for leisure activities. Yea, its been awhile, most importantly can play different kind of genre's. Can get bored with just one genre yea.. so hopefully. Can find a keyboardist, bassist, lead guitar and of course a multi genre singer. Yup! thats all.